Thursday, March 10, 2011

Privacy V. Dignity OR: Don't Eff Wit' Da Hawaiian OR: Nickname Bloopers

So I don't use my full name on here. I don't want my so-called 'real' life overlapping with this blog; I write about myself and other real people on here, and don't want it to bite anybody (especially ME) in the ass. Honesty shouldn't do that -- hence the nicknames. Plus it was fun to do

However, I am now hoisted on my own petard; my desire to preserve dignity and privacy might not be so easily facilitated by shortening a Hawaiian name. Because, as someone with a brain might note, the shorter version means something very different. Ideally it would mean "shortened version of my name," but that is not the case.

So I now have the exciting task of choosing which of the SEVEN meanings of the word I'd like to ascribe to myself:

- Multiples of ten - Yeah, I round up. That's how I roll.
Self-depiction of Allie, author
of Hyperbole And A Half

- Extremely/limitlessly - The adverb leaves it nice and open, I like it. Plus it gives me like one degree of name-separation from Hyperbole And A Half.

- Support beam - Boring. Structurally sound, but BORING.

- A way for one nobleman to hit another during a match - Iiiiiiiiiyuh just don't think so. Not much for the Marquess of Queensberry's pugilistic fisticuffs. Lame sauce.

Apache Chief hangs with
Superman, c/o Kidz WB

- A demigod best known for being a combination of Mr. Fantastic and Apache Chief - Not quite appropriate, I feel. I've never had to save my mother the moon from a giant mountain turtle.

- Shooting something - No. No. A thousand times no.

- A ton, aka 2,000+ lbs. - This one's just hurtful.

So, I think I'm gonna have to go with exaggeration. Maybe I'll even start actively living up to the moniker -- not that you poor fools will know! Muahahahahaaaaaaa!!


  1.'re nuttie! I like you!
    I agree, none of them are very good. Guess I'd go for "extremely". Matches my moods.
    Thanks for the follow! I am trying to see how to follow you...

  2. I don't like living up to anything, less stress, more fun.

  3. Pow hana, Kana. :)

  4. As cliche as an lol might be, I must honestly report I lolled at you, Ducky...I listed to one side, it was almost a rofl (I was already on the floor) but I righted myself at the last moment while still mid-lol. I might have been said to be lolling about in the traditional pre-abbreviation sense.

    Pau-hana turns DC/Marvel action-hero style; POW hana! It could be my battle advised that in the islands it carries the same connotation as "Miller time." Yeah, that sounds about right. :)

    ....AND IT RHYMED.

  5. Okay, I fupped duck on the spelling, but tame ting. I wanted to impress you with my Hawaii vocabulary. Did I mention my sister sang on Hawaii Stars - twice? She lives in Ewa. She sings in a lot of Karaoke bars now. You never lived until you sang Karaoke at a McDonalds in Waipahu. I have. I'm da-kine. I rarely make ass.

    For your viewing pleasure:

  6. yeah...expectations are a tricky bitch. I just never have one that way I will never be disappointed.