Monday, March 14, 2011

Look At My Purse, Godsdammit ::AND:: Endless Summer Pining (A Double Feature)

 Look @ My Purse, Dammit

I bought a Kangaroo pouch last Christmas, and if this tale wasn't already gripping enough, let me hasten to inform you that it comes with BOTH a big and little version in the box, and that I gave the big one as a gift that holiday, in which to keep the small one for myself. The plan was simple, yet ingenious; I could switch bags easily, it would always be in the same place in the bag, and if it was done with NASCAR-speed, Bunny would not have the opportunity to tell me what I was doing was stupid. I'd like to avoid criticism without having to change anyway.

A gripping read so far, I know. BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE.

Here's the hook: Although the Kangaroo pouch would do all I had hoped, I didn't OWN any small, empty-center bags. I specialize in  messenger bags with ten thousand pockets to fit my big awful Mac laptop. So. I'm designing and making some. 

This is my simplest design, so I started off with him...he* only took two evenings, it was great, but when I proudly strutted into work the next day, nothing. I carefully positioned it in a prominent place with a solid backdrop, in full view of the mouth of my cubicle. And my job is a tiny, tiny world of bored people, mostly over forty. EVERYONE SEES EVERYTHING. And then TALKS ABOUT IT FOREVARS. Not kidding -- I once switched from my black messenger bag to my brown one, and couldn't move for "Oh, new bag?" inanities from both men and women for days. So what the hell, people? Brand new bag, matching entire outfit -- let's hear some feedback!
Prominently and attractively (?)
displayed - and yet not a nibble

No bite.

Eventually I announced to CubeTown at large that if someone didn't say something about my new bag RIGHT NOW I would explode. I'm still getting shit about it. Be careful what you querulously demand...
*There is no reason for the gendered usage except that there would have been an "it" on either side of the ellipses if I'd gone gender-neutral. And that sounds like the sound effect of a pensive squirrel: Squik it it squik kuchoo...


 Endless Summer Pining: Pt. 2 Of Crafty Double-Post

Some places can have these year-round. Oh Gawds.

I need sun. I need cold chicken and fruit from a little Igloo cooler half-full of melting ice keeping the sodas cold. I need sand, and sunburn, and green grass. And flowers. Goodlorda'mighty, flowers. In all the vivid garish colors that waver in the heat ripples.

I demand GRASS! GIMME!!

I might be ready for Summer. Just a little. Some hints:

I wear tropical colors and pretend my building
is a cruise ship, but its just not the same.

The outfits -- brightly-colored tanktop and dress shirt combos at work; at home flowered prints, shorts, skirts, and above all COLOR.


To clash/match any color scheme

I made flower barrettes -- no namby-pamby pastels!  I require the bright wildflower colors that make you feel that Summer sun on your skin. And in your SOUL. Or something.


The playlists -- I made two playlists for summer, one long and one short(er), and another for a tropical feel.  I play them all day at work, over and over. The short one is specifically for songs with 'summer' or 'sun' in the title/refrain, with a few exception like Heat Wave and What A Day For A Daydream, which are just necessary.


The "short" playlist... only comparatively so

1 comment:

  1. The bag is nice.

    And WTF with those BIG files? I hate your job.

    Are you going to eat that leftover Chinese?