Monday, November 19, 2012

Baby's First F-Bomb

I learned "the F-Word" in first grade, as so many things are at that age; contextually, on the playground.

I had to observe carefully as it was most frequently said by bigger kids, who had to be given a wide berth; they were volatile, unpredictable, and had superior reach. However, it was obviously an expression of anger at one's own misfortune, such as when you miss the ball, stub your toe or someone plays a trick on you. That seemed clear enough...but it seems I had missed some social connotations, and as a only a nascent social scientist, had not correlated the lack of teacher presence when the dreaded "F-Word" was said.

So when I was riding home with my mother one afternoon and she was rudely cut off in traffic, I implemented my new understanding with a sympathetic "Fuck" at her plight -- which almost caused her to really crash the car.

She was also, unfortunately, giving a coworker a ride home that day. They had never ridden with us before, and never did again -- leaving me to wonder what impression my first "Fuck" left on this nameless grown-up, and whether the maiden voyage of my F-bomb contributed in any way. How it affected her work environment, I still dare not inquire.


  1. The great thing is that you said it in appropriate context. You deserved nothing worse than a laugh for that performance.

    1. Well, goggle-eyed astonishment is least, it's not a spanking. I think it was the heartfelt sympathy with which I said it.

  2. I hate that word. I also hated having to explain it to my then kindergartener after him seeing it on the bathroom wall at school. I remember that one, specifically, not sure how I explained it to the other 3.

  3. You are probably still being mentioned at dinner parties ;) I had to interview someone in Belgium and her surname was Fuk.

  4. It's a bad, albeit, highly descriptive word ;-)
    In certain occasions it just flows off the tongue like silk though :-)

  5. Ha! I agree that it's great that you used it in an appropriate context. Your poor mother.

  6. Amazing! I don't remember my first f-bomb, but it certainly is one of the best words.