Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I'm A Time-Traveller...And A Pretty Generous One, Too

Linear Human Reality Timeline  v.  Kana Timeline
While we're not sure whether or not I was born this way or damaged in a car accident when I was was twelve (Apparently it's hard to tell at that age whether you're mentally injured or just a preteen), it is clear that I am now a time traveler. It's inconvenient, since I'm not driving the time machine, but life as a passenger has been pretty helpful in the development of my character. I am pretty easygoing about reality, because I so rarely get to visit, and don't get as emotionally invested in it as the natives. I just have to make VERY sure of a few basic things, like the content of my friend's characters, and that my automated reminder calendar program is up-to-date.

Let me explain: I can only use my memory as the most basic guide to past events, so I have to be able to rely on my friends or somehow communicate with my future self about something I've managed to recall NOW. Because my memory is so patchy, I frequently am not quite clear on the timeline that connects the current me with any of the past Kanas that have defined things like my persona, living situation, or the reason why there is now two yards of burlap sacking on my floor. (See last post for a hint on that one.) Automated reminders and good organization means I can function like a normal, capable adult while actually being a time-traveler.
Why do I have $11?
We may never know.

Making good decisions is also helpful, because at least then you're pleasantly surprised by what life confronts you with. Like yesterday, when for the nth time, I found cash in my pockets and I have NO idea how it got there. I don't use cash - I'm a debit person. The idea of a points system is more understandable to me as a concept than exchanging dirty manky bits of cloth for, say, 2 liters of Mountain Dew. (And then when hobos ask if I have any cash, I can say no with total honesty. Because Maui did NOT have beggars, and that's still hard for me to deal with.) Which means there is no good reason for there to be cash in my pockets; it's like an unexplained gift from the past to the (ha!) present.

The Kana that wore the stonewashed
jeans was very generous -- we like her
This sort of unqualified good news provides more emotional ballast to balance out times when the people in my life come up to me and say "You promised to come to my ceramics workshop tonight. Grab your coat, it starts in half an hour." In having faith in my friends not to take advantage of my time-traveling nature, I just wonder, "Did I...? Huh," and then go get my coat.

This feeling of "Really? Okay," promotes an easygoing but very unreal sensation that leaves me with the feeling that I am sort of "just visiting" reality, with the same good-humored patience of a tourist stuck in a Spanish traffic jam because it's the Running of the Bulls. So I'm a time-traveling tourist on permanent vacation...there's worse things to be.

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